Pick up your face and flip it. Pretend you're Hearts.

"Bluh bluh look at me I think I can swing my authority around no matter who it harms! give me dictator of the year trophy or it'll be your head!"
Any would-be onlookers are dead but were they not they'd be confused at your head-based antics but ultimately enjoy them because they'd assume you were mocking an enemy faction.

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Spades: Remove stalagtite