Call Pyromaniacs Anonymous and ask for advice.

And Heatguy fortunately knows exactly where he can get help.
PA is not currently in session but he knows one individual who attends the meetings who may be of some assistance.

"You see this fire? Can one man get rid of it?"
"Yeah sure you just need to be really great like I am."

"So there's no hope?"
"Looks like there's some backup on the way. They'll help your sorry butt out won't they?"

"Can't you deal with this now?"
"Nah I'm busy."

"What are you busy with, just standing there?"
"Yeah, what's it to ya?"

'Some assistance' may have been an overstatement.

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Heat and Heart Guy, combine.