What is this, a joke? Names are serious business.
[-] Law & 2create suggested:
Michael ... Gweigu
Ah, yes. It's a name you've been using for years, but you don't really like it anymore. It's too silly. You need a more serious name.
[-] Kousenai suggested:
Mr. Loser: make coffee.
Ah. Yes. Excellent. Mayik Koffy is an excellent name, and it suits you perfectly.
Now that you've chosen your name, what will you do?